


Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops

by DancerChronicles



Series: Playlist of our moments together [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: M/M, Men Crying, Secret Relationship, Why did I put myself through this, so much crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29886087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancerChronicles/pseuds/DancerChronicles
Summary: Noctis finds out that he has to marry Lunafreya for the sake of keeping the peace between Niflheim and Lucis; however he has been in a secret relationship with Ignis for the last year and having the break the news is not something he is prepared for.
Relationships: Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia
Series: Playlist of our moments together [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2155260
Kudos: 17





	Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops

**Author's Note:**

> This is just an excuse for me to write angsty secret relationship style fic, and breaking my own heart in the process of writing it cause I have a lot of feelings about these two; especially since I recently finished Episode Ignis. Fic title is from the song 'Secret Love Song Part II' by Little Mix.

“Noctis, you are to marry Lady Lunafreya in Altissia; as per Niflheim’s demands.” Regis had said, after announcing that Niflheim had called a peace treaty as long as Lucis followed through with their demands. Noctis stared up at his father in shock, this was not what he was expecting from this meeting. He had expected his father to tell him, he needed to take his responsibilities more seriously, not to be told he had to get married for the sake of a peace treaty. How was he going to tell Ignis, the person he was actually dating?

Even though the two of them were dating in secret, Noctis had been so happy with Ignis; their shared moments in his apartment secretly making out when they were supposed to be working, was something Noctis looked forward to every single time Ignis came over. Ignis understood him more than anyone else, and while they had to be very careful and Ignis had often spoke about how they shouldn’t be doing these things; they just couldn’t stay away from each other. 

So to be told that he had to marry someone else, when he already had someone he loved more than anyone; who he would happily marry. It broke Noctis’ heart, even though he cared for Luna; he was too far gone in his love for Ignis, and besides she was the only one who knew about the two of them. He didn’t even have to tell her, she just knew that Noctis was in love with Ignis. And she had been supportive of them, even told Noctis she wanted to go to their wedding.

But if this would help keep the peace between Niflheim and Lucis, then he would have to try no matter what. Regardless of his own wants, the kingdom of Lucis was relying on him to keep everyone safe; especially since his father’s condition was getting worse. Noctis let out a sigh, before he gave his father a tight smile. “I understand. I’ll marry Luna.” He said, before he was dismissed. As he walked through the Citadel to leave, where Ignis would undoubtedly be waiting for him to drive him back; Noctis tried to hold back his tears.

He didn't know how he was going to be able to tell Ignis the news, the two of them had recently been expressing thoughts about what would happen if they could just live together; no more having to sneak around. And while they both knew that it wasn't that simple, it was nice to be able to have those plans just like any normal couple would. 

That was all Noctis had wanted, for them to be able to wake up together every morning; to hold hands in public like everyone else could; without the fear of judgement especially since the paparazzi would have a field day if they found out Noctis was dating his advisor. As Noctis left the building and found Ignis' car, he couldn't even find it in him to smile and act like he was fine with Ignis. He could tell that Ignis knew something was wrong as soon as he got in the car. 

~  


Ignis had been waiting for Noctis outside of the Citadel browsing his phone for any gossip sites about the prince, the meeting was rather unexpected; and he couldn't help but worry if any gossip site had picked up on his relationship with Noctis. Ignis knew that he was taking serious risks, even if the two of them had kept their relationship strictly within the walls of Noctis' apartment; managing to play off the nights where he stayed over as them having a lot of reports to go through. 

So far, from what he could see on the gossip sites; people were speculating about Noctis having five girlfriends. The usual nonsense that he had come to expect over the last few years then, Ignis breathed out a sigh of relief; it didn't look as if anyone had found out about them. He put his phone away, as he noticed the Citadel doors opening; seeing his boyfriend exit the building. He could tell from Noctis' face whatever had happened, he wasn't happy about it. 

When Noctis opened the car door, Ignis could see that there were tears in his eyes; it looked like he was about to break down at any moment. It took all of Ignis' strength to not pull his love into his arms and comfort him there and then. “Noct, what’s wrong?” He settled for asking instead, Noctis shook his head as tears spilled over his cheeks. He had seen Noctis cry many times in his life, and it broke his heart every single time. He loved Noctis dearly, and he never wanted to see him sad. “Would you like me to drive you home, and we’ll talk there?” He asked, as Noctis nodded, drying his tears.

They were both quiet on the way home, Noctis silently crying as Ignis glanced over at him in concern. He wondered what on earth must have happened to make Noctis so upset. Was the king’s condition getting worse? No matter what had happened he had to be there for Noctis, like he had always promised he would be. As they reached Noctis’ apartment, Ignis had barely closed the door before Noctis threw his arms around him clinging tight. Ignis held him gently, as his love sobbed in his arms.

“Ignis I… I’m sorry!” Noctis sobbed, as Ignis began to gently stroke his boyfriend’s hair not caring that Noctis was soaking his shirt with his tears. “M-my dad, he told me that I have to marry Luna; for the sake of keeping the peace between Lucis and Niflheim. This means that we can’t, we c-can’t be together anymore doesn’t it?” Noctis pulled away from the hug, Ignis could see that he was shaking. He gently took Noctis’ hands before pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

“Oh darling, I can’t bear to see you cry like this. Nothing will ever, ever change how much I love you. Even if I can’t ever truly be yours, I will still always love you; and I will never stop loving you.” Ignis said, as he rested his forehead against his love’s; feeling tears stinging in his own eyes. Was this how it was always going to be? Destined to love each other only in secret? Having to watch the one he loved more than anything, marry someone else with neither party wanting to? Ignis had always known that they could never be an open couple, but he didn’t expect Noctis to be taken away from him so soon.

The two of them held each other tightly, as they cried together; neither of them wanted to let the other go. They both knew that there was no chance they could back out of this agreement, it was already settled. Noctis had to go to Altissia to get married, Ignis had to keep up appearances as his advisor alone; these were probably the last few moments they could spend being in this secret relationship before they had to call it off. Ignis pulled away from the hug, kissing Noctis with all the desperation he could muster. “I love you Noct, and I shall stand by you; even if I have to lose you… If we could have been anyone else then I would have married you.” Ignis said, pressing countless kisses to Noctis’ face.

“I-I would have married you too, I know we’ve only been together for a year now; but I have known for a very long time. That you’re the love of my life, you always have been.” Noctis said, resting a hand on Ignis cheek, wiping his boyfriend’s tears; regardless of the tears on his own face. “I know that Luna would understand, because she knows about us; but I have to do this for the kingdom. Even though I never wanted this.” He was back in Ignis’ arms once more, feeling his boyfriend shake against him. He held him tighter as his hands moved up to run through Ignis’ hair, this time comforting him as opposed to Ignis comforting Noctis.

It was a long night of both of them crying, and holding each other; ending with them falling asleep in each other’s arms. When morning would come, they would have to start making preparations for Noctis’ wedding; which was in a month’s time. Once they left the walls of this apartment after this night, they would have to go back to being advisor and prince; and friends only. Noctis would have to move back to the Citadel, they couldn’t even say goodbye to each other properly. 

As the sun rose, Ignis woke up before Noctis; taking in his love’s features. How peaceful he looked when he slept, his face crinkling as he stirred before he saw Ignis for the first time when he woke up; the soft smile on his face that would form once he saw his boyfriend. All of these little moments he had taken for granted during this amazing year they’d had together, he wouldn’t get to experience them again. He wouldn’t get to kiss Noctis good morning, wouldn’t get to be used as a pillow while Noctis demanded more cuddles in the morning.

As Noctis stirred, Ignis leaned in to press a kiss against his forehead; Noctis opened his eyes before he snuggled closer to Ignis, not even being able to give the same smile he always did when they woke up together. “Can I hold you for just a little longer please? Until we have to leave?” He asked, laying his head on Ignis’ chest. Ignis held Noctis closer, as he tried his hardest not to cry; the two of them had already cried enough for the last twelve hours. He just wanted the last moments they had together to be happy, even if neither of them felt up to it.

“For a little while longer, I can do that for you. But I must ask, for us to simply cherish this moment together; and act as normal. This last year with you has been wonderful, and that’s how I would like to remember it; can you do that for me?” Ignis said, as the two of them looked into each other’s eyes. Noctis let out a shuddering sigh, before he nodded; smiling weakly at Ignis. It wasn’t his usual smile, but at least it was something that Ignis could hold on to.

They stayed in bed for a while longer together, drawing out the last moments they had together. All too soon it had to end, and with heavy hearts they both got ready; Gladio and Prompto would be over at any moment to help Noctis start moving back to the Citadel, and the two of them would have to pretend that everything was normal, that they hadn’t spent most of the night falling apart. 

As the buzzer for Noctis’ apartment went off, the two of them glanced at each other; before Noctis turned away to answer the door. Ignis let out a sigh before he busied himself in the kitchen, making coffee for everyone; it would be a long day after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on twitter: [@dancerfics](https://twitter.com/dancerfics) for more of me screaming about Ignoct and just Noctis and Ignis in general.


End file.
